Talking to Children About Divorce

Regardless of whether it is a positive choice for the family, divorce can be hard. When children are in the picture, an already difficult situation can take on an added layer of complexity. Even young children are intelligent and sensitive to emotional cues from their parents. When telling a child about divorce, there are a few simple steps you and your spouse can take which may make the news easier to digest for your kids.

If you or a loved one is going through a divorce, call our office today for a confidential consultation regarding child support, child custody, alimony, division of assets, and more.

Plan Ahead Before Telling Your Children About Your Divorce: Union County, NJ Family Law Attorney

Although you might be aching to tell your children about this very serious matter as soon as possible, it is a great idea to take the time with your spouse to go over exactly how you will discuss it with your kids. Here are a few ways this can be accomplished:

• Schedule an appropriate time. This can be important for children, as they will likely be confused, have questions, and need time to adjust. This means that it is not a great idea to tell them directly before going to a public place (like school), before you are leaving for work, or right before their bedtime.
• Write down what you are going to say. In the heat of an emotional moment, you will likely forget exactly what you wanted to convey to your children. Writing down your thoughts and making sure you and your spouse are on the same page is a good way of providing a comforting feeling for your children.
• Do not tell your children if there is even a slight chance the divorce will not happen. This is important. Kids are creatures of habit and will be confused if you and your spouse change your mind. It is better to be certain before breaking the news.

Elizabeth Divorce Lawyer Discuss What to Say During and After Telling Your Children

When telling your children that you and your spouse are getting a divorce, it is important to let them know that despite this change, you are both still their parents and that you both love them. Many children’s first reaction is to assume they were somehow at fault for their parents divorce. We must remember that in a child’s mind, they are the center of the universe and this is a natural assumption. Reassure them that it was not their fault and that their life will remain mostly the same.

Children are also highly in tune with their parents’ emotions. It is better to be open and honest about what you are feeling without being dependent on your children for support. Even in difficult times, our job as parents is to support our children, not the other way around. Kids will often understand that you are sad and not quite yourself.

In addition to all of this, one of the most important factors in keeping children happy is sticking to their usual routines and schedules. Especially for younger kids, the knowledge that they will be repeating the same routine is a source of great comfort. During this transition period of your divorce, keeping the same schedule as much as possible can be a great way of demonstrating to children they are safe.

Contact Our Linden Divorce Attorney Today for a Consultation

Speaking to children about difficult topics such as death, loss, and divorce, can be extremely taxing on parents. However, there are positive ways to approach this situation which can keep everyone on track and moving forward. Edward S. Cooper has extensive experience helping parents through the divorce process. He believes in working with the individual needs and concerns of each client, as he has done for decades in local New Jersey towns including Linden, Plainfield, Scotch Plains, Union, Elizabeth, and the greater Union County area. If you or a loved one is going through a divorce, lean on Edward’s experience to protect your legal rights and seek a favorable and amicable outcome to your disputes.

Contact us online or through our Linden offices by calling (908) 481-4625 today for a confidential consultation regarding your divorce or any other family law matters.